Top Tips for your Christmas Russell Harty


Show up:

Might sound obvious but it’s a good idea to show up and be social.  Its nice to be nice even if its just for a brief time.  If you do leave early don’t sneak off, make sure you thank the host.  Say hello and say goodbye.

Line the boiler:

Nil by mouth is a certain recipe for disaster.  Most Christmas parties will have some finger food but the clue is in the name, these are bite size morsels that are designed as appetisers not designed to set you up for the day.  If you drink on an empty stomach things will go downhill faster than a rhino on a bob sleigh.  I have seen novices and *prinkers being hand carted out of Christmas parties an hour after they land.   If you are going to drink on an empty stomach avoid the hooch altogether, and especially any thing with bubbles in it like champagne or white lightening cider.  In fact I would avoid cider full stop, especially any cider that’s not made from apples.  Some of the fashion ciders can make you want to go for a Donald Trump, even if you’re not a republican.  One good trick is to drink a milk shake or a yogurt before you arrive at the Russel Harty.  This slows down the absorption of alcohol and if you pace yourself you can drink like a camel for the night. 

* Prinker is a pre-drinker.  Smuggling hooch into a party in your stomach is a very very very bad idea.

Pace your self:

Office parties usually start early, and go on for a few hours so remember it’s not a sprint it’s a marathon so there is no need for any top shelf before 1am.  Stick to the grain.  If you prefer the grape then stick to vino for the night do not mix the grape and the grain.  Wine before beer oh dear, beer before wine is fine.  The same goes for food, I know one man who stuffed himself so full of banoffee pie he reckons he could still smell banana off his skin New Year’s Eve.  Lots of food and drink can cause indigestion and a build-up of gas.  Lighting farts at an office Christmas party is not a good party trick. 

drink limits alcohol

 

Network:

Try to meet and chat with as many people as you can, spread the love, but be careful not to appear like a butterfly.  Nothing worse than the social butterfly that says hello and then spots someone, that they think is more interesting, and they are off like a prom dress as soon as they greet you.  If you’re a senior manager this is probably ok, no one likes you anyway.  The top brass use the Christmas party like a sea gull outside a chip shop.  They can swoop down from no where.  So be careful what your saying.  In general it’s a good idea not to talk about religion, politics, or other people at work.  Keep the gossip for your parents or children.

PC

Stalin invented the term political correctness and if you have any of your own crazy ideas about the world order then keep them to yourself.  If you’re a meat eating, heterosexual, pint drinking boisterous page 3 fan, and you think pinching someones ass is only a bit of banter, stay at home.  In fact you should spend the entire Christmas at home.  Someone might even get offended by the term Christmas so stay at home for the holiday season. Christmas parties are like kryptonite for anyone who says what they feel.

Social Media:

What goes on at the party stays at the party, there will always be a few fear grins (Clowns) if you follow this advice then hopefully that will not be you.  Don't be the class clown.  However, if you do see someone having an episode don’t record it on your phone and WhatsApp it to the parents of the U10 soccer team by mistake. 

#christmas party paparazzi blogging

Flirting:

You don’t flirt with the boss at work, well at least you shouldn’t, so why would you do it at the office party.  It can only go badly unless the boss is a famous film producer.  Dress appropriately church rules are good, cover yourself.  If you know its going to be really hot then its OK to remove your cloak but not your tee shirt or trousers, and definitely do not remove any of your underwear.  Avoid any type of romantic encounters.  Romance and work do not mix, as a man said to me once you don't cook food in your bathroom.  No idea what that means but he reckoned dogging into someone at an office party is a lethal pastime.


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